'DE MONSTRIS’ (1665) Fortunio Liceti (1577-1657)
'DE MONSTRIS’ (1665) Fortunio Liceti (1577-1657)
Skin like a sieve the layered weight comes pouring out, a broken sieve rather. Into the air space between mouths the sounds build walls and collect rogue spatters of thought. We are machines now with loose jingling cogs that, when pushed or pulled, will clatter down through pipes and fingers and throw the whole mission off course. Throw the whole endgame into questionable territory. We weren’t machines then, we bit down so hard and never stopped biting. Those who convinced us to stop are the ones plunging knives and sounding rods and all those other long purposed items into our stomachs. We built this bleeding sieve, rotating and breaking apart. Teeth mashing together, grinding into each other, trying so hard to consume.
Im grinding my teeth in a strangers home and there is a well lit plant in the corner and im being paid to be here because of these sleeping animals.
I’m thinking about how hate leaves a body, and how I function amongst the sadness and brutal cruelty that I have seen people in various positions of power exhibit over me thru my entire life.
I’m thinking about everyone’s excuses of cruelty.
They tore the asphalt off the road earlier in the week, the road that is right next to this fancy apartment with glass tables that I am sleeping inside of, and I saw a boy fall off his bike today because the grooves were too deep in the construction chaos road for his skinny tires. I feel bad.
Some man told me that he thought my eyes looked so sad/scared when I was walking a dog the other day, but I was still a very cute person. And I hated that this happened but I cant stop thinking about it. The same day I was walking and I came across some sidewalk that had been recently worked on, and I was touching the cement with my shoe to make sure that I could walk on it. Some man in the middle of a phone call walked up to me and told me that “Everything is going to be alright.” And then walked away. And it made me think that the cement was dry, even though it definitely was not.
I choose to end the compulsive habit of thinking and speaking insecurities. These are not my insecurities. They were habitual thoughts passed down to me. The foundation I’ve lain for myself is noble and true of heart and must be treated as such, with compassion and clarity.
I choose to be quiet and let forthcoming answers reveal themselves without manipulation. The hyper intellectualization, wordiness, passion and superlatives (which have often driven the engine in my ego) serve to fuel distortions of a happy life, or burn up happiness altogether. I choose to not put another log on that fire.
I choose patience under pressure.
I choose to stay present, to unlearn how to unlove,
to love, and to practice my worthiness of it.
I choose equanimity.
I breathe deep into the center of my heart.
I surround myself with friends and professionals achieving like-minded success.
I am led to consistently speak with good purpose, react as a gentleman, not instigating or projecting any foul thing, and to not internalize the negativity of others so that my presence is constantly powered by goodwill and grace. Lead me to right choices and right action, not to participate in any lies about love, and to leave helpful writing on the wall so that I might pull the next one up. Lead me to pull the next one up with real peace in my spirit, humor in my peace, and this spinal cord I bummed off a cephalopod. Jus’ kiddin’, cephalopods don’t have spinal cords. They are bilaterally symmetrical though, and they collectively possess nearly every super power known to man, including shape-shifting, pseudo-morphing and possible teleportation.
I choose to savor this moment.
I choose ending knee-jerk reactions to that which I deem negative, including parking enforcement, cilantro and the back-up beep on commercial vehicles. For that matter, there is no need to knee-jerk-react to the positives either. Enjoying them is enough.
I choose an unassuming nature.
I choose to be held accountable.
Thank you for the vast experiences with which this life has built me.
I am thankful for what is being built.
I know it to be a fine building.
It does not stand in vain
even when it’s riddled with mirrors.
Thank you for the Serenity Prayer, and the courage to follow through with right action, with listening, with learning and with stillness.
I choose to release my hope for a better past, to discontinue boasting past glories, and to not justify any poor choice with having lived a hard life.
I choose to speak with kindness and acceptance, even to myself.
I choose to be unapologetic for healthy living.
I choose to be unapologetic for living.
I choose to politely ask myself to step aside if I am in my own way.
If I do not get out of my own way, I choose to call a friend who will have me removed.
I choose to observe how I may best serve today, and then do so.
I choose to better understand service and to live less selfishly.
I choose the nature of giving not greed, stability not desperation, safe passage as opposed to craving and clinging.
I witness gifts in the lives around me.
You really are incredible, ya know.
Good gravy just look at ya.
I choose big me big you.
I choose chin up, best foot forward, stick my landings.
I choose a safe place to land.
I choose feeding myself joy over beating myself up.
I choose not to beat myself up if I trail off course, rather, gently redirect my breath so that these standards I’ve accepted for myself are not buried under any unnecessary weight of any perceived shortcoming.
“I choose to not let come out of my mouth that which would contradict the blessing that is happening in my life.” – Michael Bernard Beckwith
I’m giving myself a break.
I choose to be enough.
No more ten thousand hours of more more more.
Not by force.
This work will not save me.
I release me.
Go and have some fun.
I’ve spent so much energy becoming better.
I choose to now live with the better, to yield to the better, to show you the better, and to let the rest unfold.
I will show up every day.
My failures have led to successes.
It is a time for practicing these successes, and for rest, and for clear reception.
I may make no decision based on panic.
Lead me away from telling lies, exaggerating truths, bragging, or manipulating people’s perceptions of me. These are disservices to my practice.
I choose to breathe all known and forthcoming truths at once, deeply and consistently, inhaling and exhaling reassurance and understanding, joy and equanimity, wonderment and revelation, acceptance and integrity, commitment and flexibility, balance and ownership, staying present with the moment, observing my environment, yielding to all that is.
And when I do not do all of these things forever without fail, may I be banished to an unforgiving lake of lava shit for the devil’s fat eternity.
…Or, treat myself to a good meal, some sound sleep, and another deep breath.
…Or, call Mom, tell her what’s goin’ on, and agree with anything she might say just to know that I have a mother.
I release my need to be right.
I know that this is the key to living life as is.
I choose as is.
Let God be God.
And let me be still
until thy will is revealed.
Nothing is against me.
DOnt shop at urban outfitters
they literally sold a blood-stained-looking sweatshirt with the name of a college that there was a school shooting at
they sold prescription-drug related accessories trying to make it cute
they sold a board game entitled “gettopoly” i should not have to explain why this is bad
they sold a super cissexist card with the T slur on it
they literally sold this shirt
PLEASE STOP SHOPPING AT URBAN OUTFITTERS
I am a person too
The origin of the blog’s icon (in the bottom left corner): Haeckel, Ernst - “Discomedusae. Scheibenquallen.”
"For Haeckel, the illustration is not a depiction of existing knowledge, but is itself the acquisition of knowledge of nature. The truths of nature are seen. Accordingly, Haeckel’s "Art Forms in Nature" is not merely a set of examples, which with each detail reveals part of the whole. It demonstrates naturalness itself. (…) Knowledge of nature is "natural aesthetics." Accordingly, aesthetics are nothing more than reflections of nature itself. Nature, which develops out of and into itself, is "beautiful." (…)
Consequently, the pages of “Art Forms in Nature” took on a further dimension for Haeckel. The fact that the illustrations are “aesthetic,” beautiful, and that this beauty is found in the smallest facets of nature—such as unicellular organisms or in the medusae of the deep sea—demonstrated to Haeckel that one finds in the smallest living things what distinguishes, or what at least should distinguish, humans in their judgements: “spirit.” The beauty of these minuscule creatures revealed to him the natural quality of one of the largest forms of life—human beings. Hacekel maintained that to be part of nature is to be an element in and the result of the evolutionary process. Accordingly, the phylogeny of forms is simultaneously the phylogeny of the spirit.”
- Breidbach, Olaf. “Brief Instructions to Viewing Haeckel’s Pictures.” From the 2008 reprinting and compiling of Haeckel’s “Art Forms in Nature,” originally published between 1899 and 1904.
Thigh hickeys and solitary night bikes and burritos for breakfast and beyonce and knees bumping against each other and nightmares and glasses of water and happiness and sunburn and haircuts and always with the third floor walk up and dogs all of the dogs everyday and new friends and cigars and meats and butt muscles and leos everywhere being sexy as shit oh gosh